People enter in a relationship or marriage with an expectation that a new relationship will bring happiness. But the fact is a new relationship by itself neither comes with happiness or unhappiness.  To start a relationship with such an expectation can set you up for a disappointment and make you unhappy in relationship from the very beginning.  Think of a relationship like a number “zero” and what you make of it from there, it depends on you.  If you place this “zero” in the right place, the value of a number is increased.  Similarly how you position relationship in your mind, the happiness in your life is increased or decreased.  Happiness is a state of mind. The mind has such power that it can turn heaven into hell or hell into heaven. When your mind lives in balance and harmony, you will create happiness even out of the most unhappy situations.

What throws your mind out of balance and harmony?  A short answer is your impulsive desires. A mind is always full of wants, needs, and constantly places demands that pull you in all different directions. You will often find that a lot of these desires and demands are not important and they are only creating disharmony.  This is where your intellect must step in and control the mind so it does not take off in all directions indiscriminately. The following example illustrates this phenomenon very well.

However, a person whose intellect is strong will be able to control the mind and maintain balance & harmony in inner self.   A person with harmony in inner self will also produce happiness and harmony in outside relationships. The inner self, mind and intellect, of a person plays significantly more important role than the outer “shell”, body, in creating a happiness and harmony in unhappy relationship. If you have a strong mind but weak intellect, that will create disharmony and imbalance in you.  How can you expect to create happy and harmonious relationship or marriage if your inner self is living in disharmony?

You must develop a stronger intellect to keep mind in check and maintain harmony in the inner self.  Thus first important step in creating harmony and happiness when unhappy in relationship or marriage is to create harmony in your inner self.  Please follow to the next article part 2 on this subject.